Your shoes, hair, hat, boxer shorts if you have on low slung jeans while astride your boda, and the rest of your clothes in general always say something about you. Even the most robustly unfashionable among us, (that’s me) is aware of that.
Your apparel is in constant chatter with the crowd around you, collaborating in a joint statement about what, who and why the heck you are.
As innocent an act as draping yourself in fabric is all it takes, and off they go. They will be screaming slanders about you all day. You sit at your desk, naively thinking that by being quiet you are being silent, but no. As long as you are visible and clad, something is screeching wolokoso about you at everyone.
I am short sighted. Short Sighted but still perceptive. So I know that what I wear has some impression it makes. That’s why, at least once in a while, I do make an effort to curate the statement issued. I will probably to draft a release like, “Don’t be frightened. I am merely eccentric; that’s the harmless form of crazy.” with a plain blue button-down shirt and black khakis.
Most days however, I won’t try so hard or, honestly, at all, so the message sent will just basically be, “Leave me alone; go exercise your presumptuous, pretentious, faux-psychic, quack-sherlockian, hack-mentalist kamanyiiro on someone else. Don’t waste the misapprehension that you have the right to an opinion on me because I will not acknowledge it with anything but the most curt dismissal: basic jeans and a tee. Go to instagram and judge a Kardashian there. That will satisfy you better.”
You know, I keep it simple
I have the same general view on my choice of frames for my glasses. They were always thin, black and as unspectacular as possible (You see what I did there? I am showing off. And I’m not yet done) because I recently began to see things in a new light. You could say my eyes were opened. I had never envisioned this, but it appears I was being myopic, not taking the full scene into view.
Lately I have changed and now realise that some items of attire look good. So now I care a little, a relatively, but significant little, a minute but measurable karittro more about these things. Like, instead of just t shirts, now I wear nice t shirts. Some of them kind of fly, too. What can I say? I had taste all along.
I am not going all host of NBS Catch Up with a K or The Oozy Vertical, nothing so flamboyant, but sometimes, maybe a modest little flourish here, a wink and a grin sparking out of an otherwise unremarkable ensemble. It gives me a mild dopamine kick.
Besides, I am told dressing better helps provide confidence. When you interact with people, confidence helps and clothing can provide that.
But I am not an introvert. I am a misanthrope. I don’t require confidence to interact with people, I require patience and dressing a certain way helps expedite certain interactions that would have otherwise been more tedious. Like the collars, jacket and tie combo that we learned during our hustling days is essential when you go to get your cheque.
If you are still youth and don’t know this yet, always go for your payment in business attire. Jacket, tie and/or high heels. It’s like walking in with thunder and lightning swirling around you, and a dragon barking that Rihanna song. You know the one.
I have two pairs of glasses now. Got both from House of Penda.
The ones in the collage below, are my Clark Kent pair. Black, conservative, serious.
I think they will be very effective in coming months when I am sitting across a desk, a pensive look darkening my face as I absently remove the glasses and twirl them in one hand by the stem, just for a moment, and then, emitting a “hmmmm” in a tone of mystery, a tone that leaves the listener wondering whether I hmmmmed in Luganda or English, lip-bite the tip of the stem for a second, before I slowly, with both hands, in a single, deliberate motion, as certain and yet as smooth as a Messi free kick, lift them back to the bridge of my nose, then lean backwards, temple my fingers together, and, just as the bead of sweat that has been forming on my victim’s temple begins to become too heavy to hold, utter the words, “Okay. We have a deal.”
I may even practice doing it in the voice of Cottonmouth from Luke Cage.
And now, a word from our sponsors. No, House of Penda are not our sponsors. I just like their glasses and mentioned them so that you know where to get some if you also like. Here is our sponsors: