Due to circumstances well within my control, such as the steering wheel of my Spacio, I found myself at Blue Flamingo’s studios last Friday afternoon, there to witness with my very own eyes and ears, indeed with both of each organ, the performance and recording of #NotRadio
#NotRadio, as you have learned since you crawled out from underneath that rock (Nga tusanyuse! Eladde! Ab’e Olduvai Gorge mwabalese bali batya?) is Uganda’s first certified hit podcast.
Yes, we have had podcasts before. We still have them. A lot of them are quite good. Mine (now a defunct casualty of my attention dysfunction) was, I dare say, a significant fraction above mediocre in fact. But we have never yet had a certifiable hit, a blockbuster Michael Bay Disney Avengers Sequel featuring Drake and Kanye West plus Stan Lee cameo style hit.
#NotRadio (It’s written like that, with the hashtag. Don’t panic. Just allow) features the line up of Siima Sabiti, Rudende Nkurunziza and Karim Katuramu. Notable personages each.
Siima has the demeanour of one who would have solved a lot of problems if she had been in Seeta at the right time. I am certain that she could have said, “Let’s all calm down and relax, have a cup of tea and talk this through,” and both Seargent Namaganda and the brigadier’s bodyguards would have taken seats. Not least because you sense of a glint of machete metal in her eye, a warning that Siima may well have expert level capacity in applying chokeholds.
Rudende the evil genius is a man of capacious intelligence, conversant on the randomest of topics. It is as if he knows something about everything. In most cases something related to flatulence about everything.
KK is like a ricocheting bullet; his wit is fast, unpredictable, wild and lethal. I once thought of starting social media beef with KK. I knew that losing to him would boost my twitter numbers. But the problem is that he rarely tweets. Which is quite selfish, in my opinion.
This trio first earned notoriety seven years ago as XAM, the morning show on XFM, 94.8.
Since then water has flowed under the bridge, down the trough, out the cistern and into the wetland. Rudy, Siima and KK do not present shows on radio any more.
But chemistry is chemistry, if you paid attention during Mrs Nsangyi’s class. The combination of certain elements will always explode the same way even if you combine them years later.
#NotRadio is the reconstitution of these titans without the hindrance of R.Kelly music breaks. It is just the raw uncut, the bare bums, the nyarsh without the knickers, the pedal to the metal. I am positive without a doubt to taint my faith, that this is how God wanted it to be. No R. Kelly breaks.
I arrived just before the trio entered the studio and even though I should not have been surprised by this I nevertheless was shocked to see that each had a pen and paper in front of them. As if they plan and prepare and organise and schedule. As if this madness has a method to it.
Phil Jackson, legendary coach of the championship Michael Jordan and the championship Kobe Bryant once told me, via a documentary of course, that you need a lot of practice to make your art seem effortless. And if it doesn’t seem effortless you have not practiced enough.”
Obviously veterans, with their level of experience and expertise know how to do prep. But it didn’t feel like falling into Mrs Nsangyi’s study group. They kept segueing into conspiracy theories involving testicles and had a few enlightening and encouraging revelations to share with each other about something called the friendzone nut.
Yes, it apparently exists.
Then it was Showtime. And what Coach Phil said was true. Triangle offence. Powerpuff girls, Siima’s erudite exposition of the Michael Coheh deposition, Rudey’s sudden and abrupt … wait. I can’t tell you any more without spoilers. Let me leave the link here and you listen. After you are done, pick your butt up off the floor where it will be lying, having been laughed off.