Well, Hello There. Do Come In. Shoes Off.

We should start with a sort of intro. Hello, my name is Dr Frederick Olsenburg and I am the leading nuclear physicist in the University of Beijing. I am also a colossal liar.

Seriously, though, welcome to this, my most tremendously megalomaniac literary project yet. A website with my name on it. A place for me to act like a massive douchebag, insulting your favourite celebrities, perpetuating the racist theory that says workers in the public transport sector are not full human beings so itโ€™s okay to spit on them as long as you can get away with it (fast enough), spin elaborate and intricate and epic odes in praise of Mariam Ndagire out of the threads of my own plentiful drool and, finally, sell books.
Yes. I said drool.
I also said books. I shall be trying to stir up your interest in the Adventures of Chandler and Fraiser, but that will be later, when said books are finally printed. In the meantime, I hope you can kick back in your office computer, with a cup of your office coffee and enjoy using your office bandwidth to browse through the various delights me and my friends offer you here, at this, my freaking website. Tada!