The Fashion Police swung themselves into action this weekend, arresting a citizen for wearing a T-shirt with Kizza Besigye’s face on it.
I would now like to proceed to mock the stupid dwanzi idiot cop responsible in the following satirical interview with him.
I have not included the answers because if he won’t allow others to exercise their freedom of expression, payback.
Here we go
Q. Constable Ndobo, what is this I hear about an influential social media personality being arrested for wearing a Kizza Besigye t-shirt? I agree that those shirts are ugly but the NRM shirts are also quite hideous. The fashion conscious politics fan doesn’t have much choice.
Q. Look, we understand that tolerance is not very fashionable right now. FDC asks that we deny a living to those who sing songs in support of other party presidents and NRM, on the other hand, has gallons of tear gas, possibly mingled with North Korean goat urine, earmarked specifically for FDC supporters, but don’t you think arresting T-Shirts is taking things that have already gone too far even further beyond the absurd?
Q. What do you intend to achieve from this? Arresting a man for his tees is not going to reduce dissent. Even Herr Goebbels, our minister of information, knows this. That is why he criminalises porn and not lust.
You can’t control the mind by controlling the clothing.
Get it? It’s deep. Clothing and conscience, minis and lust. It’s all related.
Q. What were you thinking, if any?
Q. You thought it would impress your superiors if you did something fascist over the weekend. You poorly-trained and inadequately equipped pawn in this game. Don’t think things. Don’t do so. It only makes a bad situation worse. Now look what you have done. Instead of complaining about the closure of Entebbe Road as we should be, we are all just frothing 140 characters about the fashion Gestapo .
Q. You don’t know what Gestapo is? There are many things you don’t know. This is due to your ignorance.
Q. Look, I know Kale didn’t issue any orders about dress code enforcement. This was just you trying to be clever. And failing to. And now you have caused a mess.
Q. No, I don’t want an apology. The only apology I want is from Cinema Magic Naalya who made me leave my beloved Acacia to go to their slum for XMen only for them to start skipping the DVD forward during the crucial scenes at the end. Then they don’t even have the courtesy to respond to my tweet asking wharrap. If I ever set foot in Metroplex mall, it will be just to take a shit in their toilets and not flush.
Q. Yes, I said I love Acacia. That is a story for another day. For now, prepare for the Free Samwiri T shirts, you dwanzi.