We are all familiar with the issue of prngraphy. We know all about it. Where to find it, what type, how many MBs and how many participants per clip.
We have gone far from the days when if you wanted sexual arousal you had to make do with the teacher rubbing the blackboard and her ass shaking shaking.
Now thanks to the era of peace and economic development ushered in my the NRM government you just need bundle. One K will be enough to connect you to the skankiest Scandinavian seductresses ever uploaded.
The latest news we hear is that a cabinet ministry, under Mr Semen Lokodo is investing 2 billion taxpayers shillings into prn technology.
What? No, I said Simon. You heard your own things. I said Simon.
The gadget is the Dectectulinator and was created by noted scientist and entrepreneur Heinz Doofenshmirtz, who is based in the tristate area of the US. If you don’t know where that is, don’t worry. Americans don’t now where Seeta is either.
How does it work? Well, as we have been told, it detects prnography. Many of us have been walking around with concealed prnography hidden within our clothing or in our homes or even our cars.
The machine will detect any and all pron and instantly report to the government.
So if you have a sexy body under your clothes, if you have sexual activities in your house or if you drive using body parts, the sight of which have the capacity to cause arousal in others, in other words if you have thighs, then the machine will find you.
It has a certain set of skills. It will find you.
So you what Lokodo plans to do with the pron once detected.
I’ll wait for that to do it’s damage before…
Of course that is not what I meant. Even as a satirist I am not going to suggest that the minister is going to lock himself up in his office and wank to all the pron in Uganda. Come on.
That is a cheap joke. That is childish immature humour.
Besides this is Simon Lokodo we are talking about. Lokodo does not fuck, he does not wank.
He does not have a penis. It fell off in 1983. That is why to this day he does not understand how sex works.
But what is the machine for?
Why would you want to detect porn?
Why would you sit in a third world country that needs infrastructure, health services, education, industry etc and spend two billion shillings on detecting.
Some people think that government does not want citizens to see it.
If that was the case why spend all that money to find the porn that has already been hidden from public eyes?
Government wants to be like yhat guy in the WhatsApp group who is always sharing NSFW Video clips.
Government wants to find all the hidden porn and share it. Put it on UBC so people can start watching their gustation again.
I have figired it out. #Sherlock