TV In The Car? Are You Thinking With Your Intestines?

If you have a television in your dashboard, you really need to look again at the direction your life is taking. This will not be the first bad decision you have made yet– there will be a chain of shitty choices that lead to this– and if you don’t pause for some serious stock-taking, it will not be the last.

Because look at you. You are a sociopath. You secretly regret that you don’t have the courage to just go out and murder strangers so you console yourself with the feeling that you may at least “accidentally” run over a couple of chaps while you are watching the TV instead of the road.


You clearly have no respect for the road, or other road users, (which is not in itself remarkable– few Ugandans respect the road, and as far as other road users, the general sentiment is that they can go fuck themselves) but dude, if you have a TV in your dashboard, you have no respect for yourself either. What kind of TV shows are you watching while driving? No attention paid?  If anyone watches Orange Is The New Black or House of Cards with anything short of their completely full and utterly undivided attention for the entire forty five minutes, that person is scum and does not deserve any happiness in their life. They should have their faces torn away from all TV screens and  sold into slavery. To Kato Lubwama.  At a very low price. And forced to mash his genetically modified porridge with the eye-protein supplements every day and then stand behind him the rest of the day to absorb the unending farts that are caused by that diet. For the rest of their lives.