You may know this or at least you should have suspected it, but I am the greatest African blogger in Uganda ever. I was certified at the 2015 Social Media Awards Uganda, an auspicious occasion presided over by none other than Seanice herself. Yes, Seanice. You can’t argue with Seanice. I rock.
But sometimes I think I don’t rock enough. I am a levelheaded, reasonable gentleman. I am not given to hyperbole and hysterics.
But If I was, I suspect sometimes, if I was the kind who would throw reckless rants and tantrums I would be an even better blogger.
Today, I have decided to attempt it. Let’s see. I am not going to be partial or sensible or restrained. I am going to cascade torrents of trash.
I am going to complain about Pastor Martin Sempa’s new TV show.
It is called Straight Up.
But what it is called and how it is written are two different things.
A reprehensible duplicity emerges when you see the promo clip on your show. The voice calls it straight up. The words on the screen proclaim another thing altogether.
There is a digit in there.
Where there should be normal, good, faithful alphabet letters, the kind we were caned into respecting, the kind Bukenya risked his future over…
Let me tell you about Bukenya.
Bukenya is a morally disturbed individual from my past who practiced his villainy at a time when people were not as aware as they are now of the concept of child abuse. He was therefore able to not only assault children with abandon, he was able to do so professionally. They made the pervert a teacher.
You think I am joking.
This part is not about jokes. This was a man who got his kicks from hurting small children and they gave him a salary for it.
Every curse I ever come across I extend towards him.
Fuck you, Bukenya.
Anyway, Pastor Sempa’s show’s name is written with numbers instead of letters, leading those of us who understand things to go, what the fuck.
That is not really a question.
Are we out of typeface? Are we done with proper communication? Are we drunk and /or idiots? Why do we not spell names the way they are supposed to be spelt?
Why this deviance? Why this? Why?
I have not watched the show, and never will. I do not watch shows which call themselves one thing and write their names as another. It is dishonest and two-faced and my trust is a precious commodity which I will not squander.
You know what you should watch? The Muwawa Club, on Urban TV. Every day at four thirty. It is spelled correctly.