According to Forbes Magazine, a magazine which is very reputable when it comes to the compliation of lists, some say even as reputable as Cracked.com, the most powerful women in Africa include little Proscovia Alengot.
When a revelation like this is made in the field of international politics, understandably hundreds of people immediately shit their mulokoni half-digested right into their underwear cos such is the enormity of the shock it engenders.
We did not expect to be told that Little Allie was one of the most powerful women in Africa. We didn’t know she was powerful at all.
As far as we know the Usuk County MP inherited her late father’s parliamentary seat on the strength of name recognition, pushed there by the party which wanted to maintain the constituency until they could get a candidate who did not carry her documents to work in a Dora The Explorer backback.
And yet, here we have proof. From Forbes. Allie is powerful.
Clearly they know something we don’t. We thought she was a girl who got into parliament as a placeholder to keep the seat available to the party until they found a real MP? Apparently not.
Now, we are not going to presume that she has the power to single-handedly steer the nation in whatever direction her nefarious will dictates, but there is more than one sort of power.
Proscovial Alengont has superpowers like Professor X. Telepathy, shapeshifting, and heatblasts. Not only that, but she is the one who keeps the the air con remote control of parliament. Plus she has the key to the pantry. Proscovial Alengont is the only one in parliament with a debit card that can make iTunes purchase so if anyone wants the new Beyonce album, there is only one person they can go to.
Proscovial Alengont is the chosen one of whom the ancients spoke. She runs on a nuclear hummer engine and her brain has 3.6GHZ. Also, she can bench press your mother.