My last computer was an Acer netbook, Maribelle, a little black slab that managed to be both small and bulky. She replaced Diedre, a larger, more ungainly notebook with a white keyboard that was as heavy to carry around as all the sins of my past.
Both died recently. Maribelle lost her battery, the poor dear, and Diedre just fell into a coma. Just lapsed and would not be awoken. It was sad. How the mighty I had fallen, from a two-comp tycoon to this state, utterly and completely without.
And yet I had so much to do. I had only finally got the gas to get started on the next Worm and Mordecai book.
Luckily I work for a clever company which knows how to assist its drones in the disposal of their salaries. The procurement department knows of ways through which one can acquire new computers without having to pay millions up front. It is called Hire Purchase and is quite fun.
So off we went, zip! the boda man and I, to Kisememti where the computer shop was. I strolled in, my face trying to look blasé and unimpressed because I have been advised that this is the best countenance to wear when one is going to confront salespeople. But my feet betrayed my eagerness. They were dancing slightly. I electric-slid across the shop floor and probably riverdanced a little at the display.
A new toy does something to your life. The feel of fresh virgin plastic in your hands, the tingle in your eyes from the gleam of a screen that you know is shining just for you, for only you, the exhilaration you get from being the one to customise her settings, to conjure her passwords, to pick her wallpaper… to name her.
It’s crazy talk, I know, but the alternative is being bored, so I will go with crazy.
I have the new computer now. This is the first thing I have typed on it, this post. But I am not so excited about the two-tone colour scheme. The computer that I got has a bit of blue on it.
That’s putting it mildly. It is actually a hot, blazing, assault of blue. A sharp, fiery, sight-lacerating blue.
And I’m stuck with it this way.
Well, I still get to enjoy all the delights a new toy brings; even if it is ugly, it is still mine, and it is new, and it is powerful and together, this machine and I are going to produce mighty works.
I get to name it too.
Meet Deep Blue Ivy.