Stealing Pics on Twitter. Why Are You Like This.

You guys are thieves. This is just true.Crooks. Remorseless pirates who should not be trusted because you cannot be trusted.You are a frothing horde of relentless robbers.

I would sooner trust the cats in the kafunda because at least those wait until you are not looking before they pounce on the table and snatch away your kiffi of pork, but tweeps will steal your shit faster than Dom Toretto and won’t look back.

 

A gentleman journalist from NTV, suave yet stern young man, known for the high quality and relevance of his work, and, it must not be neglected, the high quality and relevance of his sweaters was a recent victim.

 

I would have liked to have sweaters like that if I were still a journalist, and not a curmudgeon who, having lost faith in everything, just resorts to indiscriminate mockery and sneers (the sort of thing that is dignified by the name “satire”) but now I wear blazers.

 

Journalist Ray was on assignment which involved an engrossing conversation with a school boy. The convo took place in a very photogenic way so, naturally, a picture was taken.

 

Then Twitter. They didn’t even give the pic time to settle. People on UTL data were still loading the image. MUK students were still trying to read the tweet — you know it takes them a bit longer when the words are correctly spelled– I had not even liked yet but another guy had already grabbed the pic and re-captioned it, taking a serious, deep moment and making it… okay, let me not lie, making it hilarious.

Honestly, that shit was funny.

 

In laughed about four times. Not consecutively, at intervals.

 

The humour done with, we moved back to the serious issues that concern our society in this day and age: Ray didn’t appreciate his work being trivialised for the sake of lols, especially without his permission, so there ensued a flurry about copyright, ownership, theft and so on.

 

It was very informative and engaging but not enough, because we did not discuss the proper use of the term “meme”. You people, not every picture is a meme. There’s rules to this shit.

Use a dictionary and get the lexicon correct. It has to be a series of… you know what, never mind. It’s going to be like when I tried to explain the difference between kabalagala and pancakes. Let’s move on.

 

You guys, with your defiant thug life gusto and gumph, Ray was right. When you dress that smartly you usually are. Men in sweaters have their shit together. You can trust them.

 

Ray was right. Taking other people’s photos and words and media is in actual legal fact a theft, a copyright infringement.

 

But…

 

We are all going to do it anyway.

 

I have had not one blast but several frequent ones with pictures of Besigye, Sevo, Lokodo…

 

But make no attempt to delude yourself –that is in pure absolute concrete legal fact a theft.

 

It’s not finding money on the ground, it is finding money someone put on their shelf and acting like, “Oh, abandoned! Let me help myself.”

 

It is important, my criminal comrades, that we understand where we lie in this. We are very much thieves. Kuwozaling otherwise is like saying, “Since I love her, and we share the rent, we are covered.” It’s still fornication, man. Having an excuse doesn’t alter the moral status of your bed. You have given the world two beautiful, special children, children born of love, raised in love, filled with love which they bless us all with every time they smile. That’s true.

They are still bastards.

 

Disregarding copyrights not only curtails a creator’s capacity to earn off his or her work, it also takes away his control of the message, the narrative, the purpose of said work.

 

And when people jack my blog posts it kills the purpose of said post bringing me props. Instead of people saying, “Eh, Bazanye is so intelligently and sexily witty,” they say, “Whoever wrote this…” as if I did seventeen edits for “whoever”.

 

I know Wizkid wouldn’t be able to make money doing a concert in Uganda if it were not for free downloads, Jake wouldn’t have school fees, Anne Kansiime wouldn’t be the Kevin Hart of Africa (best short comedian in the game, that is) if copyrights were not scorned and defiled by you lumpen thieves, and though I can’t see any benefit coming to Ray unless someone finds his sweater striking and slides into his dm, the point is…

 

Eh. What is the point? Did I even have one?

The point is you are thieves. Don’t deny it. You steal things.

But the point is also, we are thieves, man. We steal things.

 

Stop acting like you have the rights to steal just because it was so easy to do so, or because everyone does it.

It’s there in the terms and conditions you agreed with that you never even read.

 

There is no solution to this. Just don’t park your car in Kamwokya with the mirrors unlocked.

 

Maybe we can compromise. Like me, much as I am a musazi nsawo too, I am not as unholy as you. I don’t steal from friends, local companies which can find the time to sue, people who will not hesitate to photoshop my profile pic onto porn as revenge, Bebe Cool (cos you mess with Bebe and your bundle will game in an hour from notifications from Gagamel fans talking about your sexual proclivities)

Or from Kanyindo. Because she is already perfect and nothing can improve on a Siima post.

 

Let’s do this don’t steal photos of people who say they don’t want their pics taken. Let the Nigerians and KOT do that. ROT you are with us.

If you see something you want to “meme” replicate the picture how we do with the sevo, Oyo and Ofwono challenges.

Meanwhile, here, Bwo. Use these if you like. Let’s see what you can make of them…

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