State House Is Broke. What Now?

State House is Broke.

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NTV tells us so in the following excerpt of a news story.

Parliament has learnt that State House is broke with little or no money to manage – See the rest here

Now, yes, I know y’all sosho meja peeps be some haters. Sevo rigged your elections and you are all pissed off. I get that, bambi.

But you guys, have pity.

It is not just the president, it is also the cleaners and the gardeners. The cleaners did not rig. They just cleaned up. Why should they suffer?

The rigging was even not clean, so you know they didn’t work that day.

State House is broke, guys.

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Power

Yaka is beeping. And you know that is embarassing. When you get visitors and they are sitting on your sofa trying to talk about the game but the yaka keeps piiipiiipii-ing into the conversation. You can tell that they feel awkward because they are here watching your TV yet you can barely afford to keep it on. They want to leave, but can’t. Would you like Magufuli to feel like that?

 

Network

The Wifi is off. No more unlimited 4G in State House. Now Sarah Kagingo has to use facebook zero on her phone. Which she has to charge at home, because State House is not wasting electricity nowadays. The thing is beeping. Can’t you hear it?

 

Moving

Walk To Work is not considered a seditious act any more. It is about to become policy in fact, after transport allowances were slashed.

 

Chamo

KCCA bylaws banning hawkers and vendors have been relaxed around State House to allow rolex, PK, simsim balls, riham biscuits and katunda lager to be sold in the vicinity around lunch time, since the lunch allowance is gone.

 

You may be mad at all the government, the NRM, and everyone who sang Tubonga Nawe for daring to sing about someone other than your preferred candidate, but there must be a limit to our intolerance. Let’s think of our fellow Ugandans. Say, for example, those advisors no one listened to who advised against the “preventive detention” and the “use of state media for campaigns” and the “stuffed ballot boxes”.

 

Also the advisor who advised him not to call Sheebah, Ntale and Kenzo for Tubonga Nawe. I am so grateful to that guy. It would break my ears’ hearts to have to boycott Sheebah and Ntale.

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Kenzo? I would be upset, but I can get over it.

 

We should help our countrymen out. So here we go. Ways State HOuse can get back on its feet.

Sublet:

People are looking for affordable, decent housing in Kampala. A place that is nice and secure and accessible. Where the walk of shame is not too long, and where hellofood bodas won’t get lost. State House surely can turn a few rooms into rental apartments and they would be perfect.

Turn It Into An Arcade

Is there any arcade in Uganda that is not making money? Just partition up the place and let people sell their stuff. Sneakers, shirts, phones, more sneakers, knickers and bras, phones, bootleg dvds, hairpieces, sneakers, sneakers, expensive dresses that only get worn in music videos and of course, tennis shoes and trainers.

Venue for Concerts

The Tubonga Nawe guys are having trouble finding venues, so why not?

 

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