You know those TV shows where the girl with the microphone goes to dark places and films them? Wait. That is not what I meant to say. I have not slept for two days so forgive me if I my words are not dancing in sync with the music. I am not entirely present mentally. There may be a few more misplaced commas in this post than usual.
Where were we? Yes. The shows. Where a girl with makeup and an expensive hairdo attends nighttime entertainment events and big-name corporate parties thrown by MTN.
The entertainment events are the ones I wanted to ask you about. You know the type: Radio and Weasel have a concert. Or somebody less famous but probably more glamorous has a fashion show. Or a soon-to-be-defunct glossy magazine wastes its investors’ capital throwing a lavish party at Cayenne. Or something like that.
I don’t know what to call the type of show. WBS Showtime Magazine started it all, so my now sleep-deprived mind, in all its addlement, wants to call them Time Shows but let’s just list a few:
- There is Kulya Kasi on Bukedde with the girl I call Eyesy. Cos her eyes are eyesy.
- There is Pundonor Margazine with Precious TM (I love that name. It’s always Precious ™ in my mind.
- Then there is, of course, the gorgeous, the tremendously gorgeous, the magnificence of colossal gorgeousness in maximum effect, Laggin with Mrs Rabbin Kistrr herself.
Rabin ™, Precious ™, and whoever it is that does Showtime, (neither I nor anybody else knows) often speak to members of the audience, or the crowd, to get feedback and interactivity and participation from drunk mofos. They ask the same two questions each time:
- “Are you enjoying yourself?”
- “How do you feel about …name event.”
And the answer is always, ALWAYS the same. Every show someone has to answer:
“Ah fill nays. Ah fill gray. Ah laav it. Yeah. It’s so good.”
No one ever answers otherwise. It’s always those eight sentences, repeated in random order. They fill gray, they lav it and it’s not just good, it’s so good. Every time.
You would think that after two weeks of this the Time Show host would realize that drunk people always give the same answer. It’s tedious and predictable and dumb and it makes her show look stupid. She should either learn how to manipulate interviews to get better answers like the people on real TV like E!, or she would bribe them to make them give us pre-scripted lines that are at least wittier. I know that is dishonest, but I gave up expecting honesty from Time Shows long ago. All they do is lie to us that what they are filming is important. The other week Rabin told us that she had been waiting for the Obudde concert all her life. Yeah. Gray.
This post is not going to be wrapped up with a conclusion because I really am half asleep as I type this.
That shit gray. That shit gray.