Say goodbye to America. It’s gone. Say Ni How To China!

Say goodbye to America. It’s gone. Say Ni How To China!plies-12512

The fact that we have all been uneasy admitting to ourselves for the past several decades is that we are increasingly American. Every new generation brings more of this cultural quality to our shores like a new stronger wave to drench us. Pop music, videos, hollywood, bootleg DVDs and the internet… more and more we find our cultures subsumed by American influence to the point that just fuck it, just allow, the Anglophone world is the 51st State.


Say swear if you don’t know someone who is uncommitted about our 2016 and Amama, but already tweets #TeamHillary

Well, forget that. It’s over.

In the next decade we are going to be Chinese.


The influence of the people’s republic grows apace and as it expands and multiplies and overwhelms and utterly swallows

Don’t fight it. It’s coming.

Next thing you know your radio presenters will be forging Chinese accents instead of American ones. Lady Bizzle, you know?

We will be swooning over Chinese pop stars instead of American ones. Miley Cyrus, Bieber and this idiot


will finally receive the blank apathy they deserve.

And we will rock to this ????

(That’s “Dope shit” in Chinese).

And instead of looking for kyeyo in Seattle and Boston, we will go to Shanghai and Beijing

So you need to know how to deal with the Visa’s man. Cos they won’t just let you stroll in fwaa. This is China, not Kisementi.


I gatchu (or as we will say when we no longer use Americanisms, ?????)


Things you should know about China.


  1. Not everyone knows Kung Fu. But you don’t want to find out the hard way who does and who doesn’t
  2. The myth about Chinese condom size is just that, a myth. Just like the myth of African penis size. I know that there are men from Africa with little dicks. I know this because I have heard African women talk about their ex-boyfriends. All African ex-boyfriends have tiny dicks.
  3. Golola Moses did not get a medal on Heroes Day and he never will.
  4. There are more Chinese people living under the poverty line than there are Ugandans living under the poverty line. This is also because there are more Chinese than Ugandans doing anything. There are more Chinese people than Ugandans currently taking their shoes off and sniffing the insides.
  5. Okay, bye. See you. Post is over.