Rules For The Cinema. Pay Attention

We have people who attend cinemas a lot these days, and this is both a good thing, because we get to watch Rocket and Groot, and a bad thing because other people get to do the same thing. At the same time. Annoyingly.

 

Development is about improving life, removing the flaws and working towards a better situation, so let us develop our cinemas by segregating cinemas. The local people get their own somewhere, and the rest of us cool people get to watch Rocket and Groot.

 

 

This proposal, which Parliament should look into turning into a bill, is that they interview you at the entrance and then give you your ticket based on your answer:

 

1: Do you think others in the audience will be interested in knowing how you feel about any part of the film? And  would you hesitate to express yourself freely when you feel something is going to happen, like if someone is about to get shot, will you hold back from stating aloud, “Mama they are going to shoot him. See.”

 

2: Are you entitled to discuss the events on screen with a tribesmate in your shared vernacular as they transpire?

 

3: Can the cast hear you talk to them?

 

4: How important are all your phone calls and have you ever heard of texting or whatsapp?

 

5: Do you know how to eat crisps and popcorn with your mouth closed?

 

6: Does shouting “Twakoowa” when the villain speaks improve the quality of everyone’s viewing experience?

 

7: if something in the movie doesn’t conform to the laws of physics as you understand them, (for example, a man in iron clothes flying, or dwarfs throwing rings away) is it your duty to inform other cinema patrons that “Shya. Lies.”?

Depending on your answers, you may either be a) issued with a ticket and threedee glasses or b) sent to the nearest ghetto kibanda.

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