Stealing Pics on Twitter. Why Are You Like This.

You guys are thieves. This is just true.Crooks. Remorseless pirates who should not be trusted because you cannot be trusted.You are a frothing horde of relentless robbers. I would sooner trust the cats in the kafunda because at least those wait until you are not looking…

Letter To Africa: Dear Diaspora

Ernest Bazanye Sempebwa PO Box 60232 Kampala, Uganda     Dear Diaspora Don’t be shocked that I have taken the liberty of declaring you the 55th country of Africa. Even though by rights you should be like the fifty eight or whatever, considering all those little…

Right Back With: Tiwa Savage ft Wizkid and Bad

Have you ever watched a music video and asked yourself, what is the message they are trying to convey with this montage of seemingly-unrelated scenes of glamorous people doing glamour as the famous hit song plays. The answer is sometimes “none”. But that won’t stop me,…

Bad Idea: The Ssonkos

  Communication is very important for a successful marriage. To illustrate this today let us eavesdrop on that loving couple, the Ssonkos. Mr. Hello hot hips. Mwah. Mrs : High firm chest muscles. Mwah. Mr: I think, for our convenience, we should remember to take off…

Letter to Africa: Dear Lagos

Ernest Bazanye P.O.Box 8864 Kampala, Uganda   Dear Lagos, Let me begin by introducing myself. I am Bazanye of Kampala. Big fan. I have always been a great admirer of your work (in the form of citizenry) Lagosians are some of the best Africans there are.…

Right Back With: Jidenna and A Little Bit More

Have you ever watched a music video? Have you ever asked yourself what is going on and why? If the ¬†answer to the first question is yes, that is also the correct answer to the others because we all suspect that music videos serve a purpose…

Letter to Africa: Dear Mombasa

Ernest Bazanye Sempebwa P.O.Box 896645 Kampala, Uganda   Dear Mombasa, It has been a long time since we last spoke, and I do miss you dearly. How are Mr Kitui and Hassan and the lads? I heard Bridget has set up a tour company to take…

Countdown To Katwe

  I have not yet watched Queen of Katwe, the current big news movie, even though I have heard a lot about it. I have heard that it is gaining rave reviews all over the world,¬†but as an intellectual, I have to make up my own…

Random Chaps Episode 679: MP to TP

As you know, because you live in the internet, and not under a cave, there is a podcast called Random Chaps with me in it, alongside one Rudende, the one Rudende Nkurunziza of XAM fame. We talk shit. I got an angry inbox message from one…