Over Half of You Can’t Read This

The New Vision, a newspaper made of words which are read by people who have learned the skill of deciphering printed symbols and discerning the words they mean, reported that with hardly two years left to the 2015 deadline, experts are concerned that Uganda may not meet the target of increasing adult literacy by 50% by 2015.

Guess who doesn’t know that. Heh heh.

We interrupt this flow to address my friend Martin who often lags behind the pack. Kwegamba, Martin, the point I am trying to make here is that the news that adult literacy was below 50 % was written in a read medium, so the illiterate people still don’t know it. It was funny before I had to explain it.

Now that we are up to speed, you have to wonder how they figured this out. Did they have one bearacrat stand on a podium in front of the hordes of Ugandan adults in each LC sector to sort them out?

The guy on the podium pounded the microphone and hemmed: “Okay, if you are literate or illiterate go and line up under the appropriate sign. If you are literate, line up under the sign that says ‘literate’. If you are illiterate line up under the sign that says otherwise.”

One of the members of the horde would raise a hesitant hand and ask, “Excuse me, which sign says ‘Literate’?” to which the podium guy would reply, “The one on the left, so you just go and line up there on the right.”

I imagine they may have issued forms to see how illiterate those on the right were. They would ask a simple question and ask that the respondents attempt to write down an answer. Say, “Wwrite down what you think of Miley Cyrus twerking.”

The results: Okay,  this one has just drawn circles. Highly Illiterate.

This one has written the name of the President. Barely Literate

This one has eaten the paper. Hungry, probably not just for knowledge.

Now this one let me see…  “Milly Circiz de twikin on d Rbn z u  go gal endepentent worm ran de wall. ” This one is  facebook level illiterate.