MPs Don’t Want To Pay Taxes. Okay, Keep

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They call them honourable. They call themselves that. They are others who have less concern about the integrity of language used. I, myself, prefer to save the word honourable for honourable things, so I call them

  • Infantile
  • Avaricious
  • Expensive national embarassments

MPs, you may have heard, have refused to pay taxes on their many allowances.

The reasons they give are as follows

  • Digression
  • Obsuring the issue
  • Excuses
  • But us we use all our money to pay for you and your weddings and funerals and graduations now you want us to contribute to infrastructure and social services as well are you drunk on greedyhol you ungrateful bitches. No. I am not. In fact to show you just how not I am, I will not pass your budget. Bring a budget here and we see who will pass it while paying taxes. Mbaff.

Politics, in spite of what frothing twitter fascists will have you believe, is not about right and wrong, it is not about either or. It is about “can’t be done” and “can be achieved”. The compromise between these two states. It is about how much right and how little wrong can be accommodated in an imperfect world.

For example, I don’t know King Saha, so you can assume I am boycotting him if it makes you happy. But even if Iryn Namubiru sings Tubonga Nawe for Donald Trump I am team her til shiloh. Just get in formation.

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So if you MPs don’t want to pay taxes, and we, the rest of Uganda want you to contribute to the provision of social services, may I suggest this compromise: If they don’t pay in money, provide in kind.

Police Force

Every MP should be armed and trained and assigned a roster to patrol their constituencey every night to detect and prevent crime. Where superpowers are necessarry a batsuit will be purchased from his or her tax-free allowances.

Transport

Si we give y’all free cars? We are not going to give you any more Prados. Now you get Toyota Urvans with a checkered stripe along the side. No MP will be allowed to move from source to destinaton without a full cargo of passengers travelling for free. And the MP will be compelled to honour each and every call of stage, maaso awo and parking without giving ngwee ngwee.

Education

Some would suggest at ths point that members of parlament who do not contribute to the national budget for education should open their doors and teach the ignorant directly and offer their own knowledge and wisdom in kind.

Nope. Let’s not do that.

These people passed a bill  to regulate sexual arousal in Uganda and to punish women who turn us on by having visible knees. They are idiots. We don’t want them stpreading their dirtyshit brainmatter infulence. NO.

Instead may I suggest that MPs contribute to education as specimens in classes. In History classes, you can have an MP show the class what outdated and outmoded ideas and perspectives look like.

In Biology classes you can show what the alimentary canal and digestive system works when the head is lodged up the ass.

In Geography you can show how lost and confused a person can be when located in the wrong area or region i.e. being in parlament when the whole nation knows you and your colleagues should all be going to hell.

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