Move Your Body Like A Snake, Ma

This is the leading contender for the World No Shit, Sherlock Award for headline writing. It follows a story we heard of through the grapevine (though considering the substance of said story, you have to wonder if that was a marijuana vine twining around the tale) of a girl who had been transformed into a snake on a road by her Sudanese lover who was angered by something vile she did to him.

Or didn’t do to him. With lovers you can never tell.

The story did the rounds—it spread through Red Pepper and/or Kamunye (same difference to me) and youtube and the social networks.

And because I am way too intellectual to read those papers, I only heard of it third-hand.

Until yesterday morning when I was trawling through my Google+ feed. It is a treasure trove. You people who stop on facebook and twitter don’t know what you are missing. That’s when I found this story and this headline:  Story Of Ugandan Lady Who Turned Into A Snake Was A Scam

I expected to find that the byline of the story was “By Captain Obvious”.

The story from Big Eye said:

It has come to the knowledge of our scoop team that the Ugandan lady who was apparently turned into a snake by her Sudanese lover is a lie, a total sham and a conspiracy to promote the witch-doctor.

It came to the scoop teams knowledge that women do not actually turn into snakes.

Okay, I don’t want to sound like I am shitting on Big Eye Ug, it’s a really cool site. Check it out when you are through with ULK.

If you have the stomach to look at this thing, the video which was purportedly of the girl—sorry, the ex-girl, now serpent, has been on youtube for a couple of years, and each time it is posted it is from a different country. It has been said to show a shapeshifter from Indonesia, a mutant from South America, a woman who blasphemed and was struck down in the middle east and, of course, the aftermath of a curse in Nigeria. Naija doesn’t miss such things.