Militarisation Of The Youth In Uganda

Military training for the youth.  


Why? Because someone thinks it is a good idea

Is it?

No. And I will tell you why.


We all know that there is something wrong with the heads of these kids.

I dont mean you, or your friends and family who are under the category. I mean the rest of them.


The general vagrant lumpenry that we see around around being there there.

They are an unstable demographic and one whose smell is not even the worst aspect.

Youth is a group that riots.


They call it a strike but that ain’t no strike. Nurses strike. Teachers strike. Even I strike for about half an hour after lunch when I take a nap at my desk in protest of the government’s lack of commitment to fighting global warming which makes it so hot.

No one teargasses me. Teargas is for riot control,  not strikes, that’s why.



But military training equips its recipients with discipline and skills and the capacity to plan and maneuver and possibly win a fight.

Do you really want the youth of Uganda to win?

The only reason we win when they riot at their universities is that they are very bad at it. They have no idea what they are doing.

They carry around leaves and twigs and run at people in in full body armour as if they went out to tickle their opponent away.


They lack focus. Instead of focusing their energy on the source of their grievances they loot shoe shops and vandalise the parked cars of people who have nothing to do with it.

As if free Chuck Taylors and a dent in a random ipsum is going to in any way revise the fee structure.

And mostly they can’t take a beating. That is the most disturbing bit. And the most dangerous.

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These is a generation that has weathered child abuse for decades. This is a generation of Ugandans who were brutalised regularly by sociopaths with impunity.

Forty canes for bad handwriting? That is not done for discipline. That is done for recreation. Those teachers did it because hurting children makes them feel good. They were perverts and they were sickos and they know it.


But back to the satire: you would think that the survivors of all these years in Ugandan schools would have learned to take a beating, that one stoke of a baton would just have them grinning, “is that all you’ve got? I trod shit in Saigon! You need more than some smelly fumes and lovetaps to stop me!”

But this is the thing. They run.


They don’t know.

And that is the only reason we win these riots. Because they don’t know.

Let’s keep it that way. Say no to the militarisation of Uganda’s youth.






Now, in other news, look at this meal. Want this meal? I can tell you where. It’s called The Bistro, right here in Kisementi. Click on the mash potatoes and follow them on twitter @thebistroug. We go and eat, man!