The newly appointed Minister of Corruption and Financial Abuse, Miss Approp Rita, joins cabinet this week, following the adoption of a proposal by Urban TV’s Business Unusual satire programme.
Miss Approp has a long and illustrious history of theft, embezzlement and fraud, none of which shows on her CV, most of which is falsified information.
This CV says that she has seven Ivy League degrees which she apparently achieved simultaneously, including three medical degrees from Harvard, four Law degrees from Princeton and an Engineering degree from Oxford. All these degrees are dated 1972, the year she was born.
Though Miss Approp is only being appointed to the cabinet now, she is no stranger to the corridors of power, having been well known in the civil service for years. She is such a familiar figure in government that the tea ladies in several government offices already know how many sugars she likes in her chai and most askaris don’t even bother to check her when she drives in or out.
Miss Approp says she is glad to finally get to serve in an official capacity, even if she is only serving in the sense of a person serving themselves at a buffet, and adds that she will strive to raise the standards of corruption in Uganda even higher.
“We have achieved a lot in terms of corruption as Ugandans, but there is still potential for more. There are still a lot of funds that have not been stolen, and I intend to address that during my term in office,” Miss Approp said in a release from her office that was signed with her own forged signature.
Miss Approp closed her statement by vowing to not rest until she has stolen all of Uganda.