Love Letter vs Whatsapp

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It seems you didn’t understand what I meant when I said “Hi, how are you?” the other day. What I  meant is that I love you. Really really really love you. Like so much.

You girl. You don’t know love. Today I am going to show you love. I am going to show you what it means to love.

Watch.

So I went to the shop in the morning. Me who is broke, remember. I don’t have anything, let alone money. Poverty seems to love me as much as I love you. Anyway…

I go to the shop and I buy a ka-five hunnad airtime thing.

I go and buy bundle and put on.

Then I sent you a whatsapp. Just saying Hi. How are you doing. Just because I wanted to know how you were. That was all. I got the bundle of one day, like 10 MB. I put it on and removed all other apps so only whatsapp is there. I wanted that bundle to be for our whatsapp chat only.

But you never answered.

I saw two blue ticks. One, two. I saw. But I understand.

You have stuff to do. I understand. Of course.

So I just chull. I sat there.

Then after 24 hours the bundle expired, nga you had not replied.

So I had to go and buy another one. Five hunnad again.

Then I was back online.

And I waited. And waited.

I saw the ticks were there. Still blue. Two of them.

I waited and waited.

Again. The day ended. Expired.

Now this is real being broke, I swear. Unemployment among the youth in Uganda is a real national issue, so this is the last five hundred bob I have until zeeyi comes back from villa, so I am sending you this message. Kyane, as if reply kko my whatsapp. I have not eaten in three days because instead of buying at least a chapati I am using all my money buying bundles.

I just want to know how you are doing, that’s all.

That’s all.

 

 

I first wrote this as a script for XAM, the morning show on XFM, with the world’s funniest radio trio, Siima, Libolo and Rudende. Check them out on 94.8 FM. 

 

Also, Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

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