Love Letter vs Whatsapp


It seems you didn’t understand what I meant when I said “Hi, how are you?” the other day. What I  meant is that I love you. Really really really love you. Like so much.

You girl. You don’t know love. Today I am going to show you love. I am going to show you what it means to love.


So I went to the shop in the morning. Me who is broke, remember. I don’t have anything, let alone money. Poverty seems to love me as much as I love you. Anyway…

I go to the shop and I buy a ka-five hunnad airtime thing.

I go and buy bundle and put on.

Then I sent you a whatsapp. Just saying Hi. How are you doing. Just because I wanted to know how you were. That was all. I got the bundle of one day, like 10 MB. I put it on and removed all other apps so only whatsapp is there. I wanted that bundle to be for our whatsapp chat only.

But you never answered.

I saw two blue ticks. One, two. I saw. But I understand.

You have stuff to do. I understand. Of course.

So I just chull. I sat there.

Then after 24 hours the bundle expired, nga you had not replied.

So I had to go and buy another one. Five hunnad again.

Then I was back online.

And I waited. And waited.

I saw the ticks were there. Still blue. Two of them.

I waited and waited.

Again. The day ended. Expired.

Now this is real being broke, I swear. Unemployment among the youth in Uganda is a real national issue, so this is the last five hundred bob I have until zeeyi comes back from villa, so I am sending you this message. Kyane, as if reply kko my whatsapp. I have not eaten in three days because instead of buying at least a chapati I am using all my money buying bundles.

I just want to know how you are doing, that’s all.

That’s all.



I first wrote this as a script for XAM, the morning show on XFM, with the world’s funniest radio trio, Siima, Libolo and Rudende. Check them out on 94.8 FM. 


Also, Image courtesy of stockimages at