Lokodo Talks, So We Must Blog About It


There are those who have suggested that Simon Lokodo is the most stupid person in Uganda.

There is no research to confirm this. Most people have used their resources to investigate less obvious-looking premises than Lokodo’s very open and incontestable stupidity. He performs his idiocy so flagrantly that he leaves no question in anybody’s mind.

But let us not go too far. We can not be certain that he is the most stupid person in Uganda. He is certainly the top seeded at the current time, but that might only be because Nsaba is inactive. If we could get him and Nsaba to enter a ring together and compete in some sort of century fight, then we would finally know for sure.
I would bet on Lokso, but Nsaba could do a Paciao and leave us with a controversial decision.


In other news, this dude drives into his compound to find that this housegirl, a minor, who he therefore has no business hiring, yet he does, have business, hiring, is on the phone in the distinct posture of a kwemolaring chick.
He begins a tirade about these men who prey on small girls, and how irresponsible we are as a society to allow such vulnerable young women access to mobile phones, and through that move, allow predatory creeps access to their victims. He rants and raves as he drives up. Stops the car where he parks. Opens the door. When it’s open he can hear her say:
“You say you love me? But what shows?”

Now that we have finished that story, let us return to Lokodo.
How stupid is Simon Lokodo?
Let’s talk to Simon and find out.

What is the exact problem, Sy? Let us get to the root of the problem.

Lokx: It is sex, man. That stuff is evil. People have it and they shouldn’t. Because fucking is evil. It makes things jump out of a nigga’s dick and into a babe’s poon and this is just so so so gross!

We want to make sure that all the shit that makes people do sex are removed from society. People should not see anything that makes them even think of poonany, because then they will want dicks in their poonany, or they will want to have…

So why not just ban sex instead of banning the things that you think lead to sex?

You know what else should be banned? Night time. People fuck when it’s dark. We should have streetlights everywhere. But no. Then dudes will see women and want to get laid. No lights. In fact I think they should just make every pair of underwear come pre-installed with a tiny machine gun…

I am making all this stuff up, but I still don’t sound stupider than you.

That is either because you are a genius, or because I am the exact opposite.