Do you now what happens if you have excess bundle in your phone, mifi, dongle for too long? It expires. And goes to waste. Then you look back with regret, thinking of all the wonderful internets you would have consumed with it if only you were not so reckless, so blind, so lacking in foresight and education and good sense.
That is why you should be like me. Every week’s end, I empty the phone of every last drop. I go hard on the vids and the MP3s and the podcasts and the streams because am I struggling with unemployment or do I have a dime? I have a dime. I am going to spend it. MBs must gwan!
Join me. Let’s kill our bundle. We will load a new one for the weekend after.
My close personal friend Cotilda Inapo, also the greatest stand up comic in the world did this crazy routine on Stella Nyanzi the other week.
I was surprised as you would be to find a housefly buzzing around in the ninth-floor office suite of a multinational banking company, in other news. If you want to know what I was doing there, wait for the next edition of the Panama Papers.
I said to Dietrich, “Dude, why are there flies in this office, and this high?”
He pulled out a gun, shot the insect and said, “Drone, not fly.”
Anyway, back to the topic, before she became talented, Moroots and I lived together in the ghetto, just two lost souls trying to make it, me supporting her dreams in any way I could and her, in turn, supporting my drug habit by sometimes forgetting to hide her purse.
It was never meant to last and once she became awesome it became evident that we were just not compatible, myself being so lousy and her being so cool.
But even though we cannot be together as man and wife, we can be together as soundcloud subscriber and artist. Listen to this. Eh? You know, wharramsayin, eh?
When you see two stone cold foxes, to certified hitters, two brick house byana with full TV make up and studio lights on you do not expect to hear them talk shit. But this clip from Maritza and Sabrina, they talk shit. Literally. This whole clip is talking about poops.
This is possibly the finest discussion on defecation that you will hear all day.
I was so proud.
How much is left? Eh. Nga you load mob. You must get a great deal on data. Those airtel one GB for twenty k?
Yeah,” you reply. “A pound for a gig”.