After the recent discovery that Justin Beiber can sing, which was followed way too quickly by the revelation that he can also play the piano, drums, guitar and trumpet AND that if you call him a faggot you had better run, my head was left reeling. I can no longer talk shit about the boy without feeling that I am being a bit insincere. I mean, the guy has credentials that can’t be denied.
It’s like Lady Gaga. I’ll say anything about that batshit heifer except that she has no talent. Cos bambi, she does.
And Lil Wayne. He’s unconscionable, a moral D minus, but I will never say he doesn’t have rhyming skills.
And Sean Kingston. As long as he sticks to the autotune, he’s actually very very entertaining.
It’s not like the Spice Girls who were heinous. They couldn’t hold a note and they were vapid, self-aggrandizing vandals who were made more annoying by the fact that they felt that being remorseless about it made them some sort of feminist superhero team.
Now comes the news that Justin Beiber has talent.
So I am just going to offload my remaing Justin jabs right here, since I have no further use for them. So presenting. The last Justin Beiber haterations.
There is a Ludacris sex tape. It’s very embarrassing. And Justin Beiber has a copy. That explains it.
Now I need a new punching bag. Oba who?