Internet For Dummies

We have been having a few slight problems connecting to the internet. Hah hah. Yeah right. No one ever has slight problems with the internet. If you cannot connect fast and seamlessly it is not a slight problem, it is a full-blown four alarm emergency situation. If you don’t have all the internet you want like yesterday, it’s Armageddon right there.

Over the past few weeks, Uganda has been crumbling into a rubble because the undersea cable, we are told, developed … well, I don’t trust IT people to tell us the truth about things. I would rather make up my own version, loosely based on just one fact that I picked up.

Now, the internet is brought to Uganda through a long tube called seacom that swims under the ocean from cyberspace (A state in the US) to Africa. This cable was attacked on its way here last week. By the Kracken.

Now, African forces have sent divers to repel the monster so that the internets can continue on their way here, but it’s going to take a while because, well, have you ever seen IT professionals deliver in a quick and timely fashion? My point exactly. In the meantime, we have to make do with this slow sludge glacier-rate crap that is pretending to be an internet connection.

This might be a good thing, though because, and you know it’s true because it’s on the web, The Internet Does Make You Less Intelligent, according to writer (and victim) Nicholas Carr. A report that summarised his long-ass article puts it this way:

People who read text studded with links understand less than those who read words printed on pages. Those who watch multimedia presentations remember less than those who use traditional means.

People who are continually distracted by emails, updates and other messages understand less than those who are able to concentrate. Multitaskers are less creative and less productive than those who do one thing at a time.

It looks like when we are distracted and interrupted, our brains can’t forge the strong and expansive neural connections that give distinctiveness and depth.

The article I quoted above also goes on to offer up a delightful typo.

Social notworking sites which pump out streams of brief messages, has made matters worse, he said

Heh heh heh.