Chandler and Fraiser: Sudden Attack

I woke to the sounds of bodaboda engines revving outside my window, followed by loud freshly-broken voices arguing with each other. “You why are you paying the bodaman? Baz will pay them. You call him and he comes and pays them.” It could only mean one thing. Karma, in the form of my delinquent sons Frasier and Chandler, had come back to haunt me.
I crawled to the door and opened it.
Baz: Well, if it isn’t Incorrigible Thug and Unrepentant Hooligan. To what do I owe the horror? What brings you here?
Chandler: Wharrup, Old Man. Bonga right there.
Frasier: Our poverty brings us here. The worsening economic situation.
Daddy (Me): But according to reliable statistics poverty rates are dropping and the economy is growing, albeit at a slower rate than in previous years. Poverty rates in general have been consistently dropping.
Frasier: That is national poverty rates. Our personal poverty rates are skyrocketing.
Chandler. Yeah. Holla with colour.
Frasier: So we have come to you for donor relief! Hah hah hah hah hah hah hah!
Daddy: Why are you laughing?
Frasier: To indicate that what I just said was a joke.
Daddy: It wasn’t even funny.
Frasier: Hence the need to indicate that it was a joke.
Chandler: Enough chit-chat. Muzeeyi, we are in need. Time to activate those parental instincts and give your children money. I hear that fathers would gladly give their children the bread from their own plate rather than let them go hungry. So, here we are. Go get your chequebook and practice some good parenting.
Daddy: Before I make any sacrifices let me look at you. Frasier, those designer sneakers you are wearing; how much did they cost?
Frasier: They cost sh(Censored).
Daddy: Frantic and flabbergasted gasp! Your shoes alone cost more than every single item I am wearing on my whole body. Including my glasses!
Frasier: Your point being?
Daddy: My point being, you impudent rodent, that you should have thought about the money you may need in the future before you took three month’s rent and squandered it on a mere pair of shoes.
Frasier: Mum is the one who bought the shoes. Aim your tirade at her.
Chandler: I’m hungry. Is there anything in the fridge?
Daddy: Well, if your mum has that much money to throw away…
Chandler: (from the kitchen) Muzeeyi, is this leftover chicken safe to eat? It looks like it has been here a while.
Daddy: How is Solome – I mean, how is your mum doing anyway?
Frasier: She sends her greetings. She says she hopes you are okay.
Daddy: You are lying.
Frasier: Okay. She said, “Tell that loser father of yours to go to hell.” But I didn’t feel comfortable relaying that message.
Chandler (from kitchen): These leftovers look like they are coming back to life! Muzeeyi, why don’t you get someone to cook for you instead of keeping mouldy leftovers?
Daddy (Getting an idea): You kids want to earn some money? Can you cook?
And who allowed you in through the gate anywa

I woke to the sounds of bodaboda engines revving outside my window, followed by loud freshly-broken voices arguing with each other. “You why are you paying the bodaman? Baz will pay them. You call him and he comes and pays them.” It could only mean one thing. Karma, in the form of my delinquent sons Frasier and Chandler, had come back to haunt me.I crawled to the door and opened it.
Baz: Well, if it isn’t Incorrigible Thug and Unrepentant Hooligan. To what do I owe the horror? What brings you here?Chandler: Wharrup, Old Man. Bonga right there.Frasier: Our poverty brings us here. The worsening economic situation.Daddy (Me): But according to reliable statistics poverty rates are dropping and the economy is growing, albeit at a slower rate than in previous years. Poverty rates in general have been consistently dropping.Frasier: That is national poverty rates. Our personal poverty rates are skyrocketing.Chandler. Yeah. Holla with colour.Frasier: So we have come to you for donor relief! Hah hah hah hah hah hah hah!Daddy: Why are you laughing?Frasier: To indicate that what I just said was a joke.Daddy: It wasn’t even funny.Frasier: Hence the need to indicate that it was a joke.Chandler: Enough chit-chat. Muzeeyi, we are in need. Time to activate those parental instincts and give your children money. I hear that fathers would gladly give their children the bread from their own plate rather than let them go hungry. So, here we are. Go get your chequebook and practice some good parenting.Daddy: Before I make any sacrifices let me look at you. Frasier, those designer sneakers you are wearing; how much did they cost?Frasier: They cost sh(Censored).Daddy: Frantic and flabbergasted gasp! Your shoes alone cost more than every single item I am wearing on my whole body. Including my glasses!Frasier: Your point being?Daddy: My point being, you impudent rodent, that you should have thought about the money you may need in the future before you took three month’s rent and squandered it on a mere pair of shoes. Frasier: Mum is the one who bought the shoes. Aim your tirade at her.Chandler: I’m hungry. Is there anything in the fridge?Daddy: Well, if your mum has that much money to throw away…Chandler: (from the kitchen) Muzeeyi, is this leftover chicken safe to eat? It looks like it has been here a while. Daddy: How is Solome – I mean, how is your mum doing anyway?Frasier: She sends her greetings. She says she hopes you are okay.Daddy: You are lying. Frasier: Okay. She said, “Tell that loser father of yours to go to hell.” But I didn’t feel comfortable relaying that message.Chandler (from kitchen): These leftovers look like they are coming back to life! Muzeeyi, why don’t you get someone to cook for you instead of keeping mouldy leftovers?Daddy (Getting an idea): You kids want to earn some money? Can you cook?