Census Questions For The Census Takers

We have had the Census takers come to our homes and invade our privacy asking us all sorts of questions about our goats and chicken and sexual histories and demographics, as if we don’t have human rights. I have the right to privacy. It’s my life. Mind your business. Wujja sepikki yo, as the wisest philosopher of our generation Ras B. Cool has so sagely said.

So if you are going to ask us all these questions, how about you answer a few yourself and see how you like it?

Presenting. Ten Questions to Ask The Census Taker.

1. Couldn’t you find a better job?

2. Who grew you?

3. Would you like to come in and have a cup of tea?

4. Would you like to come in and have sex?

5. Where were you on the night of February 12th 2012 between the hours of six pm and eight pm?

6. Do you seriously expect me to believe that you could not find a better job? People far dumber than you still manage very successful prostitution careers.

7. Who run the word?

8. Didn’t I see you in the line for Big Brother applications?

9. What does a wis wis if a wis wis a crocodile to eat?

10. So have you guys counted yourselves?

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