Don’t Kno De Hengrish. And Proud Of It!

First let us get the important details out of the way. Somebody please tell Bridget I am not buying her bullshit. I wasn’t born yesterday. See this grey on my chin? You don’t get that until you are substantially past a day old.     Now, let us get down to the matters of the […]

Kampala 101: How To Get Slapped

This was before I learned. The stunts are tricky. Like for Wakaliwood. That slap was like the Captain Alex gunshots.       Hey, remember: if you like it, hit like, share, and thumbs up somewhere. If you don’t like it, I apologise. Please don’t tell anyone.

Love Letter vs Whatsapp

It seems you didn’t understand what I meant when I said “Hi, how are you?” the other day. What I  meant is that I love you. Really really really love you. Like so much. You girl. You don’t know love. Today I am going to show you love. I am going to show you what […]

Lokodo Talks, So We Must Blog About It

  There are those who have suggested that Simon Lokodo is the most stupid person in Uganda. There is no research to confirm this. Most people have used their resources to investigate less obvious-looking premises than Lokodo’s very open and incontestable stupidity. He performs his idiocy so flagrantly that he leaves no question in anybody’s […]

Who Or What Is Queen Of Katwe?

Who or what is Queen of Katwe? Katwe is a minor monarchy situated in central central Uganda, where the crow flies upside down, where the shadows of black rock mountains tower over the night. It is run by a cruel all-powerful matriarch called Maleficient.   Is that the right movie? We are talking about Queen […]

The Artist Formerly Known As Duke Part I

The artist formerly known as not a prince.   Because Toro is not like some African kingdoms you may have heard of in your past experience; in Toro you don’t just walk in with a ring on your finger and start claiming titles, no. They will want to look at you first, top to bottom, […]

Thurrogits: A Random Muse Dance of Internet Boogie

You may know this or at least you should have suspected it, but I am the greatest African blogger in Uganda ever. I was certified at the 2015 Social Media Awards Uganda, an auspicious occasion presided over by none other than Seanice herself. Yes, Seanice. You can’t argue with Seanice. I rock. But sometimes I […]