Erias Lukwago’s CV. Just Allow You Guys

  As we said the other day when people on Google Plus were leaving comments without even clicking the link to see what they were commenting about (Really, friends, let us click one another. For the development of Uganda. We cannot stay backward forever.) Erias Lukwago is not going to remain Lord Mayor, that is [...]

Share on Facebook

Alcohol Not To Be Sold To Anyone Below 21 Years of Age

In the latest from Uganda’ scorching-hot ongoing series of dumb bill proposals we have this gem from the Ministry Of Health official Sheila Ndyanagangi who seeks to raise the age at which alcohol may be sold to Ugandans from eighteen to twenty one. Ndyanabangi argued that at eighteen a Ugandan is not mature enough to [...]

Share on Facebook

Bad Idea: A Premio Is Not A Fancy Car

The bratty little boy with the filthy manners is an everyday occurrence here in Uganda. Familiar. Normal. All over the place we have Y chromosomes swaggering around mistaking for mere entitlement what is actually entitlement to several thorough beatings. But as long as they are below the age of 18, we just grind our teeth, [...]

Share on Facebook

Who or what is Lupita Nyong’o?

    Now, over the next few years you will hear a lot more about this girl who has already filled nearly every breatheable inch of the glamorsphere since the movie 12 Years A Slave was filmed. But before we get into any further discussion we must nail one fact down. It’s Lupita Nyong’o, dammit. [...]

Share on Facebook

How to get a job using chick power in 12 Easy Steps

In Uganda today, when unemployment among youth without jobs currently stands at absolutely 100 per cent (we pause for a moment to let the slow ones catch up) we must look beyond the obvious solutions to the issues surrounding penetration of the job market. Or we just have to use Chick Power. As in the [...]

Share on Facebook

Can’t Wait To Watch Wolf Of Wall Street

Hi Baz? It’s Leo. Leo Kir…? Leo DiCaprio, nigga. Have you forgotten your old friends already? Back in Boston we were tight as Beyonce’s blonde weave and now, just because you went off to be a big-time Ugandan writer you forgot all about me? DiCaprio? Leo Dick! Oh, of course I remember. I mean, I [...]

Share on Facebook

Worst Customer Service In Uganda

  • Hello, I’d like to order lunch. • People only call this number to either ask me out or to order something and since I don’t date people who eat stuff from takeaways then ordering lunch is your only option. So, you want what? • Well, what do you have on the menu? • [...]

Share on Facebook

Bill of No Bill

Hello. I would like to start by welcoming myself back to the internet and wishing myself a happy new year. I have not had access to my own computer, the one that is specially customised for my blogging convinience and even has my special stash of desktop wallpapers featuring feminist icon Beyonce allowing herself to [...]

Share on Facebook

Nga Now You Have A Smartphone For What? (AKA What’s Been Up Africa)

  Long ago, back in our day, when the world was young and innocent, we had things called Internet Cafes. Now, I know things that bear that name still exist, but they are not the same. What you guys have is some dank and frightening place where the computer you log onto is so likely [...]

Share on Facebook

The Power of Proscovia Alengot or Oromait the Mighty

According to Forbes Magazine, a magazine which is very reputable when it comes to the compliation of lists, some say even as reputable as Cracked.com, the most powerful women in Africa include little Proscovia Alengot.     When a revelation like this is made in the field of international politics, understandably hundreds of people immediately [...]

Share on Facebook