Above The Truth Episode 2: A TV Show On A Blog

  Previously on Above The Truth Mysterious city tycoon FatBoy has been sleeping with pop starlet and rocker of nice hips Rema, when their peace is interrupted by a ninja break-in perpetrated by leggy cat-burglar Sheebah. We meet the couple at the open door of the home contemplating what to do next.   Rema: She [...]

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Above The Truths: Episode 1. Watch Dis By Reading

  If you have been a person with functioning eyes over the past twelve months, then you are aware of a TV show called Beneath The Lies. Starring an ensemble of Ugandan celebrities and Raba Daba as well, this crime drama was poised to be the Kampala Scandal. CSI Kampala. House of Matatu. The serial [...]

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Bad Idea Encyclopedia: F***ing Hummers

Information is the cornerstone of educational data.  With that in mind,  let’s  rip into it.  It’s the Bad Idea Encyclopedia. Today’s entry is on the subject of Hummers. Definition: The term Hummer is an acronym,  and stands for Hugely Ugly Motor Monstrosity which is Expensive and Revolting. This is one of the best-named vehicle models [...]

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The Year In Review

Isn’t this where every reputable news outlet, or blog, or any site that has the gall to aggrandise itself publishes a year in review piece? I shall not be left out. Rewind Selecta. Jan The year starts on a scandalous note when Socialite celebrity couple break up after weeks of open feuding. Jennifer Musisi and [...]

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Kampala 101: How To Be Slapped

My friend, name withheld, (let’s call him Arturo. Because nobody’s called Arturo in real life, so this makes this true story even more absurd ) recently got slapped. Hard. Skilfully. All the way across the face. It was the loneliest moment in Arturo’s life, he told us, rocking slightly, and staring into the middle distance, [...]

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The Book Of Besigye. Exclusive Excerpts

You have heard by  now of the incredible new book about Kizza Besigye authored by my old friend on whom I tie every time he achieves something, Daniel Kalinaki. The book is called Kizza Besigye, And Uganda’s Unfinished Revolution and is selling bestly. What you may not have heard of, at least not until I [...]

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TV In The Car? Are You Thinking With Your Intestines?

If you have a television in your dashboard, you really need to look again at the direction your life is taking. This will not be the first bad decision you have made yet– there will be a chain of shitty choices that lead to this– and if you don’t pause for some serious stock-taking, it [...]

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Who or what is our BBA Africa Representative?

Name: Stella Nantumbwe Alias: Ella Other Aliases: Uganda As in: Miss Uganda. So she is Ms Stella Uganda. Height: Way up there. Mostly due to the legs, which are quite protracted. They go longer than Busta Rhymes’ career. I mean, I am not complainig but does one really really need all taht? Chick is almost [...]

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Census Questions For The Census Takers

We have had the Census takers come to our homes and invade our privacy asking us all sorts of questions about our goats and chicken and sexual histories and demographics, as if we don’t have human rights. I have the right to privacy. It’s my life. Mind your business. Wujja sepikki yo, as the wisest [...]

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Take Back Uhuru’s Car

  You may have heard that Kenyan president Uhuru Kenyatta lost a real life game of Grand Theft Auto Nairobi last week. Someone stole his car. A vehicle belonging to the presidential fleet of limos was stolen outside the city limits last week. Now. Really. Ssuuna, we know it was you. This has Ugandan written [...]

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