Radio and Weasel featuring Traffic Jams.

      This is how the events of that fateful evening transpired consequent to the situation under observation duly concerning the people in   First, let’s set the stage. The scene is Entebbe Road. As usual, traffic jam. Both ways. To and fro. Jammin’ to is the self, Ernest F. Bazanye, blogger, newspaper columnist, […]

How To Make A Ugandan Rolex

There is another google search result for this topic. This one had better not supersede that one. But we agreed that we are going to get our culture and lifestyles and our stories as Ugandans onto the internet, and I was told to do Rollas, so here we go. Ingredients: 1 Sexually attractive chicken. No, […]

Run This Town: How I Stopped Being Lazy

Last time we spoke about health and fitness we decided that it was time for me to stop being a constituent piece of the sofa set and get some exercise into my life.   To this end I got a pair of running shoes. Before I tell you about the shoes, I believe they deserve […]

Being The Bigger Man

I put on a lot of weight, quite rapidly, over the past two months. It was sudden and unexpected. One day I noticed that my jeans were a bit snug. The next week I just could not let myself out in them unless I wore a pair of stretchy briefs over the fly like Superman. […]

Chill Break: On Phone Nudes. Not Wearing The Social Fabric

  More nude photos. More heads on the chopping block. More hypocrisy and anger and smug recrimination. Ernest Bazanye points fingers at Ernest Bazanye   Q: I thought this was a newspaper. Are leaking nudes news? Every week another set of pictures falls into our inboxes. Celebrity nudes are as common as spam SMS calling […]

Who Or What Is Queen Of Katwe?

Who or what is Queen of Katwe? Katwe is a minor monarchy situated in central central Uganda, where the crow flies upside down, where the shadows of black rock mountains tower over the night. It is run by a cruel all-powerful matriarch called Maleficient.   Is that the right movie? We are talking about Queen […]

The Artist Formerly Known As Duke Part I

The artist formerly known as not a prince.   Because Toro is not like some African kingdoms you may have heard of in your past experience; in Toro you don’t just walk in with a ring on your finger and start claiming titles, no. They will want to look at you first, top to bottom, […]

Fast & Furious 7 FAQ: Everything You Need To Know

How fast are they? The only time they drive at a safe speed is in the four seconds when they are accelerate from zero to a gumptredousand Kmph.   What is that in miles per hour? It cannot be measured in miles per hour without the use of computer generated imagery (CGI) and special effects. […]

Water is Back. Water is Back!

National Water heard your anguished pleas, your croaked and broken and parched voices. You begged that the water supply be restored after the shortage of the last weeks. The company heard. They heard that they can’t bill you for water they don’t supply and so they had better hustle and get that shit fixed and […]