Campaign Crowds. Who they are and what they mean.

This campaign season has been different from the previous ones in this single regard. It has been all about the people. . How many they are and who the hell thet are and who has the best and biggest and most electorally valid crowds.

Until today no one has told you the truth about campaign crowds.

This is a statistical breakdown following uncontestable research of every single campaign rally crowd.


87% pickpockets

15% looking for a hookup

2% spies

71% lost. Thought this was the Pope walk/Neyo Concert/Impromptu Lynching

12.4% Don’t even have voter cards

16% Hoping to get bribed for votes

9% Hiding from KCCA agents/mothers/teachers



14% Leo DiCaprio’s missing Oscars

3% smurfs


0.001% Guy trying to see if he can sell another sofa

8% Bachwezi

1340% photoshopped

(Pic) Effigies. Eg, this is not a real Besigye. It is a trick to fool photographers into thinking there is more than one.

Pause: Dear Henry, I know you are going to get mad when you read that joke and inform me that I am misinforming the public and being an irresponsible journalist and that is not an instance of fraud but an expression of support etc. but really, shut up.

0 % local artists who were paid to sing candidates praises.

0.00009%  except Bebe Cool.

12% crime preventers who couldn’t prevent their own kidnapping