Breakdown: The MAMAs Said Knock Chad Out


Did you read last Friday’s Vision? I was in it. I am usually in it. This is my column there. Spot kko.


The MTV Africa Music Awards, also known as the MAMAs were concluded last week. They left in their wake a bit of controversy. Ernest Bazanye discussed the foofaraw with rabble-rouser Ernest Bazanye

Q: What are MAMAs?

A: An opportunity for Marlon Wayans to get out of the unemployment line in San Diego and get back to pretending he is still a relevant celebrity.

Q: And besides their value as a charity for fallen stars who plummeted lower than Z-List, past notoriety and into absolute non-damn-givenhood?

A: MTV’s attempt to recognise notable achievements in African music annually.

Q: So, which notable achievements were recognised this annum?

A: Lupita Nyong’o was awarded best African person of the year, an assortment of hot Nigerian musicians were awarded hottest musicians and another assortment of South Africans were named other hottest musicians and it was called a night.

Q: I heard a hullabaloo ensued in the aftermath.

A: Yes. Ugandans noted the absence of our compatriots on the podium and are upset. And we have been discussing, heatedly, what we can do as Ugandans, to make sure we have a more significant contribution to make to the continent’s music industry as a whole in future.

Q: I can tell you how we contribute to the continent’s music industry as a whole, we Ugandans.

A: Hit me.

Q: We download Nigerian and South African songs illegally and play them all day long in our smartphones.

A: That is not enough. We must do more. For example, supply some of our homegrown music for Nigerians and South Africans to illegally download on their own phones in their own countries.

Q: But here’s a question. Is the problem that the MAMAs are dominated by two countries out of an entire continent or that Uganda isn’t one of the dominant countries? Because we could replace Nigeria but then the good people of Chad would still complain that two countries, us and SA, dominate the awards.

A: We wouldn’t complain.

Q: So screw Chad, right?

A: Exactly.