Being In Uteruses that Don’t Concern You: (Feat Mariah and Siima)

Uganda has some of the most children in the world. This is a statistical fact, borne from all the screwing done within the borders, that leads to a staggering 3.3 percent population growth rate. Ugandans are also some of the greediest people alive, a statistical fact borne from everyone still wanting more and more kids.

When you find a woman who is not at that very moment pregnant enough, Ugandan, you indulge the habit of demanding to know why and when this is going to be addressed.




One of Uganda’s top women, Siima Sabiti aka @Kanyindo, responding recently to the question of why she has no children, made this statement:

“If you want his kids so bad, why don’t you screw him yourself?”
She did not say that. This is what she said:
I am exhausted by the comments I deal with, almost on the daily, as to my childlessness.  People seem so concerned that I don’t have a child.  Like there is something physically or mentally wrong with me.  Like I am too selfish and ‘precious’ to just get on with it and get pregnant.

So next time you feel like rubbing some chick’s tummy and asking her when she’s going to ‘use it’, next time you tell a woman YOU feel ‘should have had a baby by now’, next time you ask me why I have puppies instead of ‘just getting a baby’- just don’t.  Stay out of my womb, stay out of my business and mind yours.  I’m not here to have a child for you like you’re going to have anything to do with it,  FFS.

Full post is here at, or just Click on Siima’s face.

Also involved was fiery funky feisty stone cold fox @Redlispteeq aka Whosthatchic Mummy who has a son, a splendid one, one of the finest available, a paragon of splendour, indisputably a leader in the field.
That does not stop society for asking her to do it again. “Why are you not pregnant?” They ask.
She responded with this tweet
Screenshot 2016-03-21 at 3.16.57 PM - Edited
I immediately asked her:
So when are you having a second kid?
This is her responding.
When you ask a woman when she is having a baby, this is what you are subconsciously saying to her: “When shall you prove your womanhood?” “Is that uterus you carry around working or is it broken?” “Don’t you want to carry on the man’s lineage?” “When do you plan to pay the man’s bride price?” That one question is equal parts pressure and acute depression, because you don’t know what different people go through. You don’t know their struggles with pregnancy. You are not God, so stop asking that damn question already!

Plenty of reasons are floating around as to why some couples do not have babies by a certain age and stage in their lives. It could be by choice or it could be a health issue. For women, some of these conditions include preeclampsia, hostile immune systems that cause multiple miscarriages, miscarriages that irrevocably damage the uterus, fibroids, recurring ovarian cysts, cervical, uterine and ovarian cancer… Some men battle with low sperm count, erectile dysfunction, prostate cancer, obesity and a host of other problems. In the face of these, it is both highly negligent and ignorant of anyone outside that particular baby making equation to go wagging their tongues asking about offspring that isn’t a product of their loins. Keep quiet.

Full post here at, or just click on Mariah’s face.

Having used other people’s informative, reasoned, comprehensive blogs to clarify the issue, it was time to return to the tone of this particular blog, which is silliness. I then fabricated a survey
These are the results of a reliable survey that was carried out. Men asked why they don’t get kids.


Actually I did a couple of times, but I didn’t like them, so I sent them back to their mums. One must not compromise on quality in today’s Uganda.


I blame my penis mostly. How can I put this? It falls short of requirements. It is not up to the task. You are giving me a blank stare? My penis gives something similar to women.


Because you need a girl to let you fuck her to get a child. And oba where does one find that sort of person?


My right hand does not have a uterus.


I don’t want. And I know condoms.

But in the end, I don’t have kids either, (No, those two are not real, they are made up) and it bothers me that we are more likely to ask a person why they don’t have a kid than we are to ask why they don’t donate to their local orphanage, or what they are doing to conserve the environment, or if they participate in any … Wait. I said this blog is for silliness. The sense has already been spoken.


But all the parents out there, you are doing a magical and precious thing, and we appreciate you, too.