Be Patriotic, Or Go To Jail

Minister for the Kampala Frank Tumwebaze also MP for Kibale County  hasn’t been in the news much lately
Minister for the Kampala Frank Tumwebaze also MP for Kibale County looked up from his iPad and realised this recently so, taking a cue from the new facebook thing he had got on the iPad he just went on ahead and said what was on his mind. That is what Facebook encourages us to do. Just spill whatever nonsense is going on in there, just let it out. Facebook is like an electronic toilet bowl for brain farts.

So, “Patriotism!” Minister for the Kampala Frank Tumwebaze also MP for Kibale County honked.

This was where someone else in the house reminded him that they were parliamentarians and were here to make laws, so did he have anything parliamentary to say about patriotism?

Now when you are stuck in a corner, and you can’t very well say, “Patriotism, Frank Tumwebaze likes this”, cos you already did that on facebook, you blurt out the strangest things.

“Let’s make it legal!”

Here Minister for the Kampala Frank Tumwebaze also MP for Kibale County is met by a sea of faces, blank, still waiting for the point.

“I mean let’s make not being it illegal.”

Okay, I don’t get to see the Hansard, that’s for people who do bother with research, so this is just an imagined scenario but you have to agree. It’s the only one that makes sense.

Not that we should be looking for sense in parliament. Lately their record for that pursuit has been kind of low. How do you go from passing a bill to ban porn that won’t ban porn, to passing a bill against homosexuality that won’t stop homosexuality, to this?

So in the spirit of mockery we have a few things here to help the befuddled citizen who, after that harrowing incident with the policewoman who tried to arrest her over her miniskirt wants to make sure no cops bother her again, cos the car chase and the shooting and the hostage mess left too much trauma in her mind.

How to not get arrested for breaching patriotism bills.

 

  • When it says formal wear, bring leaopard skin, ostrich feathers and lubugo
  • Go to Italian Chinese Indian restaurants and ask for katogo
  • Call radio stations and request the national anthem. Yo, TXR!
  • Change two of your names to Uganda
  • No more chicken. Only eat crane
  • Go to forex bureaus and exchange shillings for shillings.
  • Do NOT have oral sex. Mouth is for eating.

 

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