Bad Idea: My Election Column

A fiery political firebrand brought the heat on the socials recently, blazing up the Facebook with a hot statement. If you heard it you may appreciate the puns.

If you didn’t she basically said she will set parts of her body on fire if her candidate loses the election.

Now, she, like me, is a writer. We indulge in excesses of language to get points across. We don’t just tell you the sky is blue, we make it much bluer than it could possibly be then tell you that.

It’s our nature to overstate things. Because part of us feels compelled to compete with the sky for attention. We might, on some level deep inside our crazy neurotic writer psyches, want you to remember our words and not the splendour of the sky.

Which really is pretty cool lately. Hot as long legs in Magufuli-permitted  miniskirts but still, looking very nice. Like long legs in Magufuli-permitted miniskirts.

See? I was trying to just simply state that they sky looks nice but I had to sprinkle some writer sauce on it and go all similies and allusions.

Of course the story that the Tanzania president had banned miniskirts was false. That illustrates the difference between hacks and writers. Writers give you the truth wrapped in layers of fiction. Hacks just lie.

Ban miniskirts? Half the Bongo Flavour industry will implode.

So, the lady said she will set herself on fire and use the charred bits to recolour the flag black and the socials were quite taken by it.

It was a very powerful piece of rhetoric, bringing down the point that she will be strongly disappointed if he loses.

Yes, her candidate of choice is not a woman, it is a man. Some people say this writer is crazy, but she is not crazy enough to vote Kyalya. No one is.

Kyalya is such a certain loser that I am sure I can mention her name without feeling like I am testing the limits of my ethics as a columnist here — I am not going to endorse any candidate.

Unless Professor Barya enters the next season of Rated Next, in which case he is our man.

What bothers me is that some people, not many but enough to cause concern, appear to have taken that Facebook post with a pinch less than the salt necessary.

People are considering some extreme responses to the election outcome.

So, guys, friends, Ugandans, countrymen, hyperbole aside.

If your candidate loses the election, you will not mutilate yourself, burn your genitals and deface the flag. You will accept defeat.
If it turns out the majority of voters do not share your political beliefs, you will accept this. because no matter what the reasons are for the choice they make, whether they are lied to or duped, or decieved, or whether they made a rational assessment of the options and their conclusion was different from the one you would prefer, they have that right, as much as you do. And the only way this works is if you value, respect and support it.
Democracy is an imperfect system. And a precarious one. And a dangerous one. But it is the best chance we have. We must protect it.
Against intolerance, against violence, against tyranny.
The true heroes of democracy are not those who win, but those who take the loss and say I value your right to disagree more than I value victory.

Peace in our time, ladies and gentlemen.