Author: Ernest Bazanye

Bad Idea: Witches In The Ride

  Today I am going to present to you some thought-provocation. Prepare please, to have your thoughts provoked. No, don’t worry. I left that kind of provocation for Dr Nyanzi. Mine is safe to read in church. Or is it? Let’s see. Imagine you are a…

Why We Say All Men Are Trash.

For those in the back of the class who don’t pay attention: This post is not as some have smugly snorted,  “condemning women for calling men trash.” It is mocking people for preferring to feed their egos instead of trying to be honest and just and fair…

Bad Idea: Death To All Cockroaches

Prologue: Dear human Ugandans reading this. Do not be perturbed by what you are about to see. Even though the following words appear in the space usually reserved for my correspondence with you, they, this time, are not addressed to you. Don’t freak out. Now, with…

Go Ahead and Switch off My Sim Card.

So gavumenti and you have mutually agreed on the disconnection of your phone… This is the conclusion things came to, of course. In a democracy we compromise. One party makes what it thinks is a ferocious threat: “We will cut you off if you don’t Leeejeeeeestaaaaa!…

Hotel Away From Home

So this was the peculiar picture I found myself portraying last night. I, Bazanye of Bulabira, was unable to be in Bulabira. Even after I had just zipped past a light-skinned long-braid chick on my boda, which was swifter than hers, our eyes made contact, and…

Uganda’s Class of Uncle Ruckuses

I have discovered a great new way to get blog ideas. Just wait for someone to say something I disagree with — but not disagree with enough for me to take seriously, something offensive that is stupid, rather than harmful– and then boom! Type out seven…

Stella Nyanzi Vs Immigration Department. Q&A.

At Entebbe Airport Immigration Check, the following took place. Tick tock. Immigration officer Immy: You, the loud woman in the African print. Who are you and where are you going? Where are you going? Nyanzi: I am thrusting my heaving African bosom to the Netherlands. So…