An Open Letter To Eddy Kenzo

Dear Kenzo,

Greetings to you. (And greetings to the person translating this to you.)

I am writing to congratulate you on the can of ass whupping you opened on that journalist yesterday. It was beautiful.

Kenzo, I enjoy your music quite a lot. I thought I was a big fan of your work. But when I saw that video of you thrashing a nigga as if he had just gone and drank your last glass of coca cola, I realised something: My appreciation of your excellent music is pale and thin in comparison to how much I admire your reporter-punching repertoire. I am even going to like your facebook page now.

You know I am not one of those people who believe that violence is never the answer. Sometimes people just go around asking for it. And if you ask for it, it has to be the answer. And from the looks of it, that Kasuku guy had not merely asked for it, he had filed a full requisition form in triplicate and attached LC letters.

Personally, I don’t believe that musicians are above criticism. You cannot claim that the press should never do anything but praise you. But on the other hand, the press is not above criticism either. We just have different ways of publishing our critiques. We in the media write words. You in the showbiz industry publish punches. I think that is fair.

Besides, an aside, why should journalists critisise you for not speaking great English when a) It’s not your job to speak English and b) half of us unleash genocide on herds of mbobos every time they type. Bomboclart.

Some people will say that this behaviour shows that you can lose your cool, that you can lose control, that you may even lose respect and lose your reputation, but as we all know, that is not a problem. You famously do not fear losses.

Either way, after the disappointment we got from Golola last weekend, it was nice to see some quality kickboxing to make up for it. As local people like you often say, well done, man. Well done.

Your biggest fan, Nze Bazanye