An Internet Reprobate

What is a hacker? An internet reprobate. Scum. A complete and utterly degenerate sleazepiece, the sort you might find clinging to the bottom of your shoe after a  trudge through a disreputable neighbourhood, a glop of something green and suspicious that looks and smells foul, the sort of thing you won’t touch—you will look for a stick to scrape it off with, and even then, while you scrape it off, knowing full well that it is between stick and shoe, you will still make a face of revulsion like eeeeugh even though it hasn’t actually made contact with your skin.

That’s what hackers are. That is their moral status.

A hacker took over newvision.co.ug on Sunday and defaced it. He felt very proud of this act and thumped his chest wildly.

While the rest of us think the act bridges any gap there was between gormlessly juvenile and elaborately stupid, he thinks he is very cool.

Now, the New Vision is my employer, and even if it wasn’t that wouldn’t change the fact that they run the biggest and most successful newspaper in Uganda. They also have the fastest-growing TV station in the land and several radio stations, one of which is a certified big-leaguer in the vernacular market in Buganda. The other boasts the dopest morning show team on the dial. (94.8 KK, Rudy, Siima and Andrew aka Chuchu. You are missing!). The Vision Group also publishes a growing roster of regular magazines. The company rocks.

But in spite of all this, we still have the lamest website on the internet.

Look, I’m not paid to lie. It’s true. I’ve seen geocities that were handled better.

Apparently, it’s also run on some outdated machinery, so when some silly little slimeworm was looking for things to damage, he found the newvision.co.ug was vulnerable and available.

It’s a stupid act. Like seeing a bride and groom walking out of church and noticing that there is a space in the crowd and realizing that you can actually run in with a bucket of muddy water and throw it at her and  totally ruin her wedding dress. I mean, what sort of idiot will actually do such a thing?

But once it’s done… if it was a really ugly dress…

Fade to black. The aftermath of the attack.