Alcohol Not To Be Sold To Anyone Below 21 Years of Age

In the latest from Uganda’ scorching-hot ongoing series of dumb bill proposals we have this gem from the Ministry Of Health official Sheila Ndyanagangi who seeks to raise the age at which alcohol may be sold to Ugandans from eighteen to twenty one.

Ndyanabangi argued that at eighteen a Ugandan is not mature enough to drink and is more prone to addiction than he or she would be at twenty one.


Of course the question that arises therefrom is this: if we raise the legal boozing limit, does this mean we are raising the age of legal maturity in general, across the board? Does this mean that anyone below the age of 21 will, in the eyes of the republic and the law, be considered a minor? Cos that has wonderful implications.

  • First of all, no tax. If this government taxes children’s income, it should be embarrassed (even more than it already is). That’s literally taking candy from a baby.
  • Then you don’t get to vote. Less of you out there throwing stones at our cars because your candidate didn’t go through.
  • However, this also means that, should one of my twenty-year-old haters murder me, the piece of shit will be tried as a minor and won’t be executed for what is really a crime against good taste, as well as a crime against the nation.
  • Also, should you have sex with a twenty-year-old, you will be a sick pervy child-molester and I don’t even want to be seen talking to you.
  • Wait a minute—how old is MP for Usuk County Prossy Oromait The Mighty Alengot? Does this mean she will have to leave the main chambres of the house and move to the day care wing?

The main problem here is that  our Sheila misunderstands the purpose of laws. It’s not to stop people doing bad things. There are people who are not mature enough to drink responsibly even though they are past the age of forty. We see them every weekend. They drink, then they jump into their cars, speed all over the place and run us down, breaking our limbs. The age limit is not to forbid immature people from drinking, it is to mark at which point  the law and the republic decides its your own fault what happens when you drink.

If a twelve-year-old drinks and harms herself or others, we don’t blame her, we  blame her parents, guardians and ourselves, as a society, for not looking out for the little one who can’t be expected to know better. If a fifty-year-old does it, we send the full invoice for repairs of all damage he caused to his door, because nobody owes but him.

So if you are eighteen and drunk, you get away with the dumb stuff you do for another three years.