Above The Rim

  • Baz, you have rimless glasses on.
  • Yes, I noticed that when I put them on this morning.
  • How comes that.
  • Well, really odd story. I was at the opticians, you see, and I had some money.  So I asked the people there, “Hi, y’all. Gyebale. So what sort of merry hijinks happen within these precincts?” They replied, “Well, here we fit people who have eye defects with corrective glasses.” A combination of circumstances converged: I was intrigued, it was hot outside and they had air conditioning on inside and finally, it was Pioneer Mall at noon-ish and just in case Besigye decided to fight for my freedom outside at that moment this looked like a nice, cosy, teargas-proof environment, so I inquired further: “And how do you know that these people have eye defects and are not just staring hard because they are rude or squinting because they disapprove of whatever meal, or hairstyle or newspaper column is  in front of them?” Well, get this. This is what they told me. They apparently have a machine, yes, mechanical means of looking deep into your eyes, literally, and finding the truth about you. As long as that truth is what the shape of your eyeball lens is. It is not romantic at all. Isn’t that brilliant? I was so impressed and/or worried about 4GC protests erupting outside that I said, “Subject me! Subject me to the operations of this machine!” And it worked! The gadget determined that I was a myopic gentleman, ocularly speaking, and required glasses.
  • Are you done?
  • I would go on, but I think you have had enough.
  • What I meant was that you have had glasses since you were nineteen and they have always had rims. In fact they have always been really unfashionable. So why do you suddenly have rimless specs? Are they not for posers?
  • If they are I have been lied to. I was going for understated, modest, minimalist. Not poserish.
  • Because you delude yourself that thin black frames will make people fail to notice that you have slabs of glass in the centre of your head all day.
  • There is difference between “Look at that man. He is a man. He has glasses on.” And “Look at those glasses. They have a man.” I want to be on the right side of that divide.
  • That divide is imaginary. Glasses people are just glasses people. You kid yourself.
  • I do?
  • Except rimless glasses. Those are for posers.
  • Oh shit.
  • I’m afraid so.

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