Anita Everything, The Prequels #3

Conversations with Airtel Anita, my airtime vendor:

*Anko as you’re roast!

-I dial *162# and get bonus data on airtel so I don’t need that much airtime. I just come here more for the latest gossip about your love life. As you know I am too snobbish for telenovelas but I still crave scandal and sleazy stories.

*Anko munange. I am bleaking up with the bresser.

-You make it sound like an ongoing process. I thought breaking up was just a matter of kilobytes on a whatsapp with you youngsters.

*Your generation doesn’t understand us mirrennios. That is the probrem. WhatsApp message is how facboys do it. I can’t bleak up via WhatsApp

-That’s mature of you…

*Nah, I ignore his phone calls and brock him on Twitter and post Instagram pics with with other guys until he gets the message.

-That is some cold-hearted and nasty behaviour! Now what’s the difference between you and the so called f-boy?

*Difference is I’m the kind of bad news that can break an f-boy’s heart. Don’t even mess with me.

-I have even stopped sneaking peeks at your butt.

*You better. You old men need to rearn. You bress us and we curse you. I won’t even pick calls on the phone he bought for me. Badder than bad, you know! Ma fimi sherre oh!

Next up, the next blesser.